My body has it's act together and so do I. I'm stronger now, much more than when I first wrote here a year or so ago.
I can wake up hungry and go to bed the same way. I can fill myself up with black coffee and cigarettes and diet sodas and be fueled by it alone.
I hate what it does to me though. It makes me obsessive. It makes me careless. It fills me with some kind of sick pride when I notice the way my hip bones jab uncomfortably into my mattress.

I believe when it's all gone, when I can be the weight I haven't been since I was 10 years old, everything else will be gone too. And then I can finally live in peace, away from everyone and everything and I can make a home in my own heart and empty stomach and I will never be bothered again.

This is not for you and it never has been. Go vomit the lies you tell yourself to get by on someone else.

--Andria.