I just want to sit
somewhere
on the edge of a cliff.
Not to jump, but
to just sit there
and breathe in
the waves
and
hear the birds soar.
I want to stay there
forever
just breathing
and listening,
just watching
and waiting,
just thinking
about diving.

I suppose after you've failed once, everything hurts that bit more. And you feel like a failure for not being able to complete the one thing you want to do.
Once you've failed three times consecutively, it's just upsetting. And I'm so tired and my eyes hurt and things aren't getting any better.
And I can't handle life and I didn't choose life.
And I could go on for hours about how it isn't fair but what would that change? Absolutely nothing. There isn't anything that will change this.

Save yourself, other people will survive. You mightn't.

--Andria.